some cool scenes choice !
main issue for me was some of your cuts: your anime switch have a lot of different color pallette (0:16 for example: very detailed rain/water to very bright blue sky) too, it's kinda hard for the eye, rotos and transitions are your friends in this situation! or change of scene placement.
p.s:the "stairs scenes" at the beginning of the build-up was an EXCELLENT idea. it's sad you didn't continued all that way before the chorus drops. "Girl who leapt through time" would have been a no-brainer on this.
Good luck !