Hello,
Not bad, the scene selection is pretty solid and you're good at controlling the pace. I would say the technical FX you added, although ver few, felt a little bit odd, I wish they were used in a more meaningful way, as they stand here, they felt a bit random. At the same time, we've seen a lot of Violet evergarden at this point and your video is quite similar to most of them, so even if it was not bad by any mean, it felt a little generic.
Still, a good job, good luck !